I did not watch for 3 seconds before correcting Liv as she pressed her face against the McDonald's Playland door and washed the glass with her tongue. Not Me!
I did not have 3 separate incidents of accidentally ingesting disgusting and gag producing things in less that a 24 hour period.
There was most definitely not an old cup of tea in my car this weekend that was automatically sipped upon!
I did not take a bedtime swig from a bottle of water off the table only to find pieces of SOMETHING floating around in my mouth (thank you children). Aaack!!!!
My hands DID NOT resort to muscle memory while cooking breakfast and bring my finger to my mouth after moving the bowl I just made biscuit batter in only to realize it wasn't anything more than raw egg. Not me!
Thinking of these imaginary things does not make me cringe with disgust because I didn't do them. Not me.